Well, I have been here over two months and I still have not managed to find any great friends among the Japanese population in Tokyo. Part of the problem is that I am studying in the International Division of Waseda, so my classes are filled with mostly foreign students, predominantly Americans. Considering I can meet Americans in America, I have tried to avoid spending too much free time there (although I did compete on the Kokusaibu rowing team for Sports Day-we beat all of the Japanese student teams!)
Another part of the problem is that Japanese groups are generally closed to outsiders. I am not certain about the truthfulness of this, but it seems to fit the data. Japanese people have amazingly strong group mentality. Japanese people are generally very polite in public, but they can be more relaxed when they are inside a close-knit group such as the nuclear family. Thus, this in-group status is highly valued and admission is not easily gained.
Some of the foreigners in Tokyo agree with my opinion about the difficulty in finding friends, while some say that it is easy. I'll admit that I have met a lot of Japanese people. Most of them are curious about foreigners, especially Westerners. It never fails that they are surprised that I learned any Japanese language or that I even had a desire to come to Japan. However, after these initial questions, the conversation, and therefore the relationship, really trails off.
The third part of the problem is that I am generally an unsociable person. I am a introvert at heart, so I have trouble meeting friends even at home. Plus I don't smoke or drink or gamble or engage in many of the bonding activities that are necessary to make friends.
However, I have made quite an effort to meet people. It seems the best way to meet people in college here, is by joining a club. I first tried the Badminton Club and lately I have been hanging out with the Hiking Club. I went to one of their drinking parties this week. It was my first experience with the famous Japanese "compa", so I learned a lot.
I have been told that "compa" comes from the English word companion (and not from the Japanese "compai" or cheers). Anyway, it generally means that a group of friends get together, go to an Izakaya (Japanese style bar) and drink for a while. I went with about twenty-five people, so it was quite a party indeed. We had food and beer and beer. There were the general drinking games that you would find at any frat party at an American university. Maybe things aren't so different. After a couple hours of this nonsense we all strolled down the street toward the train station. We all gathered again on a side street, sang the school song and whatnot and said goodbye. It was an interesting night but I still can't say that I have managed to make any great friends among the group members.
This coming week is the Waseda Festival. I am told that all of the clubs put up a tent and try to sell something to the other students, and/or public who pour through the campus during this event. However, the Hiking Club is going out of town. I am joining five other members for a five-day trip to Nagano-ken. We plan to hike about 20K per day and camp under the stars each night. If I don't make any friends during this trip, I will surely give up. At any rate, I am truly enjoying myself here in Japan. It is just that there are difficulties here and there along the way.