"It is usual to say that the Japanese are characterized by 'group-ism,' while Americans are individualistic. I think this is true" (Basic Concepts 55). In the same manner, any discussion of the Japanese has to include the dyadic pairs such as honne and tatemae. The author would like to say that concepts such as group-ism, honne, uchi-soto, and omote-ura are almost entirely foreign to Western peoples, particularly "Americans." Furthermore, this absence of inner selves versus outer groups in the US leads to a society where "the appearance of real individuals is strangely absent" (57).
However, in addition to this lack of individuals, there is also a lack of real groups. The reason is that "self determination is the societal rule" and leads to certain enigmas in America such as "American conformism...tolerance for violent tendencies...the boom in divorces and the so-called sexual revolution" (57) which the author does not find very "impressive."
As a member of the offending society, namely the United States of America, I would like to assert that people in the US are quite aware of the difference between honne and tatemae and are perhaps better equipped to balance the two than the average Japanese person. While a single-word translation for the word honne does not exist in English, this does not demonstrate the entire lack of honne thoughts as some scholars might propose. In fact, people in the US quite commonly discuss a person's true motive or feeling (honne) versus any fronts or facades (tatemae) that might be shown.
The issue that separates honne-tatemae in the US and Japan, is that people in the US strive to reduce or resolve any differences between honne and tatemae while people in Japan accept this conflict as some natural part of life. I have found this to be a rather interesting feature of life in Japan.
For example, imagine a Japanese college freshman who joins a club at school. The club is for people who enjoy hiking and camping, and therefore has a number of outings on weekends and holidays for members. At the end of April this new student is invited to a two-day Welcome Camp at a campground just outside of the city. The student has already made plans for that Saturday to go to an amusement park with some other friends. However, he feels that he must go to the club activity because he is a new member and is expected to attend.
It turns out that there is not much camping involved in this camp-out at all. All of the members take a train out to a small village and set up their gas stoves beside a river. Everyone begins drinking beer and cooking hamburgers on an old grill. The grill is not so good, so the meat comes out half-done. However, when asked about the meal, our loyal student proclaims, "It tastes great!"
Now our student is quite the outdoor-type person, so he is a bit surprised to find that all of the members of this club drink and smoke so much. His image of nature lovers was people who cared more about the value of life and preserving the environment. However, when offered a drink of some sake, he is afraid to decline because everyone else is drinking. For the first time he gets very drunk and does not remember much else about his camping experience.
Some time around three in the morning, he vaguely recalls talking to an older student about his personal interest in camping and hiking. "I like to get away from the city now and then to see what life used to be like. You know, before we had all of these buildings and cars. I like to enjoy a good walk to the top of a mountain and pass the afternoon writing letters to old friends."
"Really?" replies the older member. "Then you have to come with us on our next trip. We plan to do some real climbing. Where should we go? Maybe we will climb Mt. Fuji next month."
The student remembers climbing Mt. Fuji when he was in junior high. It was kind of fun, but a little touristy. He remembers that there were too many people at the top, and he couldn't enjoy the view much because he was too upset by the garbage strewn about. Furthermore, he clearly remembers that the best time to climb Fuji is in August.
"Sure, that would be cool."
In the morning, everyone wakes up freezing from lying outside next to fires that have long since gone out. Our student remembers that he is supposed to visit the local temple with his family in the afternoon. He looks at his watch and notices that it is already past eleven. They must have been up pretty late. He asked one of the older students if he could leave early in order to get back on time.
"No, that would be a pain. Don't worry about it."
He doesn't think it would be such a pain to take the train back by himself, but as a first year student, he is not allowed to tell his superior so.
"I see. Okay, it's no big deal" he says and goes back to sleep. After what seemed like a lot of waiting around and passing time while everyone slept off their hangovers, the group finally parted for home.
"How did you like your first camp-out?"
First of all, this is hardly my first time camping out, he thinks. Second, I would hardly consider this anything related to a real venture into nature. That said, I hated every minute of it and can't think of anything that I would enjoy less on a nice weekend in April.
"It was pretty cool" he says.
Not only does he miss going to the temple with his family, but he misses the next week of school due to food poisoning from the hamburgers. He decides not to go back to that club, but joins another outdoor club instead.
This story is far from an exaggeration of everyday life in Japan. There are many moments that people have to wait a little longer than they would like. Sometimes people entirely disagree with other people, but in order to "maintain harmony" or avoid offending a superior, valuable opinions are left unsaid. Finally people spend a lot of time pretending to enjoy things when they would rather be out with real friends.
Because of the beauty of honne and tatemae, Japanese people are able to reconcile all of these conflicts in their heads. They personally know what they are feeling yet they put up a facade for the rest of the world. Often other people realize that the facade is only a facade, however, they play along in the game. It seems that allowing honne and tatemae to be in conflict is a favorable system in a society which prefers harmony over direct confrontation.
If we look at the same story from the eyes of a person from the US, the student seems rather silly. If the student had plans already, surely he could skip the first outing in favor of the camping trip in May. When he didn't like the hamburgers, he might suggest that they cook them a little longer. When offered a drink or a smoke, he might decline stating his distaste for such habits. Finally, he may even go so far to disagree with the older student about the merits of climbing Mt. Fuji in May.
In the US, people are taught to fix things that are broken. If a person disagrees with another person or would like to dress a little differently than another person, he or she can do so. In this manner, people are able to resolve discrepancies between inner feelings and outer selves. If everyone simply followed his or her superiors and kept inner feelings inside, many valuable opinions would be left unsaid. Naturally, many arguments and uneasy moments arise from this rather direct form of human interaction. However, striving to keep honne and tatemae in harmony is a favorable system in a society that is not afraid of conflict or competition for the betterment of all.
It is interesting that the Japanese system of internal conflict versus the US system of external conflict is highly reflected in the society at large. Japanese people have to hold many opinions inside in order to avoid outer conflict. Thus society in general is very harmonious while inner selves bear most of the stress. People in the US are able to vent their inner conflict while creating tension in society at large. Perhaps this is why the US has a more violent outer society yet content inner selves. One has to ask which society is preferable, one with excessive inner conflict and suicide, or one with excessive outer conflict and murder. It seems to me that the end result is the same in either case.
In conclusion, honne and tatemae are hardly the core of life in Japan and less than essential to a thorough study of Japanese people. However, if the infamous dyadic pair comes up in a discussion about life in the infamous dyadic pair of the US and Japan, the subject should be treated as something not entirely exclusive to Japanese people. People in the US are quite aware of the differences between one's true feelings and the facade that he or she puts up. It is just that people in the US and Japan have different ways of dealing with private and public selves. Which is better for a fulfilling life is difficult to judge, it can be said that both systems seem to fit the societies in which they function.