* Your potted plants stay alive.

* Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

* You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

* 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

* You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.

* You carry an umbrella.

* You watch the Weather Channel.

* Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and

  break-up.

* You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

* Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'

* You're the one calling the police because those damnkids next

  door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

* Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

* You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

* Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

* You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.

* Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

* You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

* Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning

  of one.

* MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.

* You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not

  condoms and pregnancy test kits.

* A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.

* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

* Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet pepsi & Ho-ho's

* "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm

  never going to drink that much again"

* Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

* You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going

  to a bar.