August 10: Perks

I am pretty sure that I covered this topic before, but I am constantly amazed at the sort of fringe benefits that come with being an auditor. Auditors have worked really hard to build up their reputation as professionals, people that command respect and deserve a certain level of comfort in life. There are the limo rides to the airport when the train might be easier. There are the Friday afternoon golf games. There are the suite hotels and happy hours. All of this stuff gets charged to our clients in one form or another as part of the professional services we provide them.

Is this not crazy? I understand that maybe we deserve a free dinner now and then to celebrate a job well-done, but I have had more free food and drinks in the last year than I have had in my whole life. Most of our clients would never extend the same hospitality to their own workers who are more important to their business and probably have a lot more loyalty. Instead the wining and dining funds get used up by the "professionals" - the lawyers, accountants, managers, etc of the world. Maybe it is all part of some ploy to ensure that we important people are kept happy and don't cause any problems with the unimportant daily operations of the business.

A few examples of the more questionable events that get charged in: after a few weeks of hard work on one job, we decided to hold a team-wide party to build morale and reward everyone for a job well-done. We went to the local Dave and Busters, a dining and drinking establishment which also has all kinds of video games, pinball machines, and other games for the overworked professional. It is a little like Chuck E. Cheese with beer. Then there was the recent outing to an afternoon baseball game. Again a group of people from only our company, decided to go out and have a good time in honor of our favorite client. We also invited along an extra guy who had never heard of the client, but who was more than happy to take some time off and enjoy a baseball game with us. Finally, there was a random dinner downtown at some chic restaurant that charges too much and gives you too little. We charged that one to planning for some future job.

Generally these kinds of expenses get squeezed in to bills for jobs that are ahead of their budget or particularly liberal. Our invoice goes out with just two amounts on it: a total for time spent, and a total for expenses incurred. The client pays without much argument generally. Little do they know that someone should be auditing the books of the auditors.



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