I volunteered to work for another guy who is sick today, so I have eight hours to email, write in my journal, take on-line CPA exam simulations, browse the web, et al. Time really does fly. Normally I only work at the computer lab two hours at a time. This is hardly enough time to read and reply to mail and check out a couple web pages. Lately I am checking out my stock that I bought on the web (currently down about one point). Sure computers make us "more efficient" but the 10+ hours I spend on the internet every week are not exactly the best quality time. For instance, I started this entry at 2:30, but soon got distracted by various cosmetic changes to the J-Net web page. Now it is after five o'clock and I have a big headache. Typical Sunday.
Studying stuff is generally going all right. I spent my Friday night working on a the financial accounting portion of the CPA exam. I took a full simulated exam on this software. Despite the fact that I have gone over most of the stuff, I couldn't do much better than 60% on the multiple choice questions. Not very impressive. I am working on governmental accounting stuff today. Somehow that is a little easier.
Okay, my mind is just mush right now. I don't think I can come up with anything exciting to write. Heck, there is nothing exciting. Does life have to be exciting? I think that I am slowly coming to a realization about the hippie vs. yuppie dilemma. It seems like the romantic life of living outside of the "evil" society is really silly. I think that most of the people of the sixties realized this. People moved out of the communes and tried to join more productive groups. Some people got into volunteerism, environmental politics, productive protest, etc.
One thing that I still haven't figured out is this good co-op that I joined. The place is a little disorganized. A real good example of why centralized communism didn't work in the USSR. Nobody seems to care enough about anything and nobody is in charge. All of the customers are workers and owners. We work one hour a week; just enough to keep the place going. The one-roomed grocery store is so much more inefficient than the Super K-Mart out by the interstate. But there are many people who don't have cars and can't make it out to the superstores. Some people don't like the atmosphere or the goods that they sell out there.
Personally, I don't have a car. I would like to buy some semi-alternative goods like tofu, granolas, powdered milk substitutes and other stuff. But the co-op doesn't carry enough produce (they never have a standard head of lettuce, or tomatoes-out of season?) for me to get all of my shopping needs there. So, I end up getting a ride out to Meijers or somewhere every couple weeks. What is the point?
Okay, once again, I have no point. Lately I feel like I need someone to write my conclusions for me. I have some ideas here and there that I just can't string together into a coherent explanatory paragraph. What is my problem? Lack of motivation.
So, anyway, I am thinking that my travels around the world are just some hopeless attempt at escaping a society that is pretty messed up. However, considering the pointless nature of the alternatives, mainstream society (dare I use the word bourgeoisie?) does not seem so bad. I ought to just stay home and think about fixing what I got rather than escaping from it.
BUT, I just came up with yet another great hippie vacation. I am really looking forward to traveling more by bicycle. Just like the Wandervogel and Hippies, I believe that backpacking, biking and hanging out in the countryside are good ways to get back to mankind's roots. So I thought I might take a few weeks and ride my bike up to Minneapolis to see Liza on her birthday (June 3). I could camp out in small towns and eat at local restaurants. Read some books. Ponder my coming life as an accountant. What do you think? Not very productive, eh?
That's just a taste of the things that cross my mind as I move into my last two months as a super senior. I guess these are typical concerns of a person on the verge of major change. My life as a student will soon be over. I will be expected to contribute to society. Repayment for all those scholarships that I got. I don't know. I am still a little apprehensive.