January 31: Hiya

I feel as though it's been a while... perhaps for the greater lack of material to write about. Actually, there is always something to write about... but a matter of whether to attribute any meaning to it by actually writing/talking about materials so trivial and also by the fact that a lot gets lost or gets too grandisoe by my auto-cannbalisitic writing. I steer away from shi-shosetsu (for any J. lit people), and I'm glad(?) to say that there's good amount of fiction in my narratives. I forget how much and what I wrote here, but truth is usually less interesting than fiction -- although I can attest otherwise -- and by that, I find pleasure in more trivial things. kana? But no story today...

Anyhow, school is now in full swing, and I've decided to stick it out with three classes. My ambitions in terms of coursework was rather high... but doesn't look like I'm going to be able to get all of the classes I really want. I'm at least set with two classes. Survey of modern Japanese literature -- again -- and a graduate seminar in the evolution of the concepts "desire" and pleasure" from modern to contemporary Japanese literature. This class has absolutely no conceptual value for me... as the proffy is in the "Female" material as usual. I guess Japanese lit and eroticism -- on the large part -- go hand in hand, and with Berkeley's liberal nature, there's a lot of sensual themes involved outside the usual feminist theory stuff. For me, I've long dismissed feminism as a crock, greatly in part because my admission would instigate a series of identity crisis by deconstructing my "male" self. I guess Icould go Frued here, but I think I'll pass for now. :)

Regardless, my last grad seminar two years ago introduced me post-modern theory starting with structuralism. I hope to bring in cognitivie science to Japanese lit and I guess write a paper from that perspective. I don't know if any of you are interested in this stuff, but the other class I'm taking -- probably -- is visual perception... and I used to hate these stuff so badly... but I guess I'm growing a knack for 'em. wacky.

Job hunting as usual. Next week is a four day (or two job fairs) stint bouncing about Berkeley and San Francisco. I wish that I could just sit down and read or write, but too much distractions. I guess my primary attention goes there.

Otherwise, all seems very everyday. I'm becomeing good friends with graduate students in the East Asian Department... partly via Miranda, and mostly by taking the seminar. Still Tutoring Intermediate Japanese, and they pretty much perceive me as a grad student. So taking the survey of Japanese Lit class -- which didn't transfer from Japan -- with some of my students raises eye brows. Ironically, it's the most rigid students who's taking classes with me... and not knowing whether to call me "Shindo-sensei" or Eugene, they stumble. I'm still not used to be called Shindo-sensei, unless as a joke, but the die-hard Confucianists -- most notably Korean girls -- seem to prefer it that way. I wonder.

Anyhow, it was long long ago that "the sundays" came out with an album, "reading, writing and arithmatic"... I can't count numbers anymore. I can't add or subtract anymore. I was tempted to go out and buy an Algebra I book and go over communative, assoiciative, and distributive properties again. I buy a cup of .85 tea, handing over a 10, and I can't count how much change I'm supposed to get. Ever more aloof, as I think whether brown sugar, or honey with a tinge of low fat milk. Zuibun tsumaranai koto wo kangaeteitarishite. Anyhow, soredakekana.

have fun all.


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