September 10: Howdy

Life is just absolutely outrageous. I feel like I'm doing everything in the world, but I just can't get the real thing. It just doesn't get wilder than this. It's like finding wild substitutes to everything... in hope of getting close to the heart of the matter. I'm at work right now at 11:15 pm, and I've been philosophizing with a superior, hanging with a colleague, and then everybody else is gone. I don't know it just doesn't make much sense. Yoko's off to Thailand and Singapore tomorrow, she gave me a call...

Work is getting interesting. I could see it getting old and boring, but you know? It's one of those things that's quickly getting automatic, and you wonder in amazement where and how it's all being pulled off. This is really a personal issue really... work that is... and the people are good. I'm quite happy, but not satisfied. I feel like there's much much more to go with this... as to expand and sharpen my senses. I feel very dull in the REAL world... that is. I feel and sense my limitations, and I love it. I must be Japanese. It's scary to enjoy this masochism, but I suppose there's no out to this. This is flowing out so smoothly. Scary. Nonetheless, I would never say anything is perfect, but it's ok. satisfactory. I'm demanding more out of myself... and this transition state is excellent. That much... I can say.

Euge



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