April 9th: America Bashing

Enjoy it! and tell me what you think. 150 Reasons why we hate gringos...
1. Because of Proposition 187.
2. Because they measure everything in football fields.
3. Because of Ross Perot.
4. Because... who wants an uncle named Sam?
5. Because of Texas, California, New Mexico, Arizona and Colorado.
6. Remember the Alamo?
7. Because they don't even know how to pronounce their cities' name... let's see them try to say Amarillo or Sacramento.
8. Because they can't dance.
9. And they think La Macarena is what foreign music is all about.
10. Because no matter how many geography lessons they take, they willnever understand that America is a continent, and not their country.
11. But they think of themselves as the only "americans".
12. Because their permanent visas aren't permanent anymore.
13. Because... why go to Europe when they have Epcot?
14. Because if they do go, their first visit is Eurodisney.
15. and the second is McDonalds.
16. Because they put ketchup on absolutely everything.
17. And count how many burgers they've sold.
18. Because they eat neon-colored cereal.
19. Because they put cheddar cheese on their "tacos".
20. Because Operation Just Cause was anything but.
21. Because of plastic plants and flowers.
22. Because they put whipped cream in their capuccinos.
23. Because of Taco Hell -er- Bell.
24. Because of the Atkins diet.
25. And for all the Low-Fat and Sugar-Free products.
26. Because they think Coors and Budweiser are the best beers in the world.
27. Because they prefer a glass of Jack Daniels to the best scotch.
28. Because they can consume crack, heroin or cocaine.
29. but they can't drink water in Mexico.
30. Because any minor crosses the border and gets drunk.
31. Because they criticize Colombia as the country that produces the most cocaine.
32. but they are the ones who consume it the most.
33. Because they have to "certify" other countries.
34. Because they feel identified with Forrest Gump
35. Because they can't understand Woody Allen.
36. Because Hollywood teaches them history.
37. Because of Walt Disney.
38. and Mickey Mouse.
39. Because of Dolly Parton.
40. ...and DollyWood!
41. Because they think E.T. is really an extra-terrestrial.
42. And think the same of Alf.
43. Because they miss Johnny Carson.
44. Because a movie without a car chase is not a movie.
45. Because they can shoot a movie in Mexico and say it is Colombia,Argentina, Chile or Peru... its the same, anyway!
46. And they think Arnold Schwarzenegger is an excellent actor.
47. Because Steven Spielberg makes them think.
48. And they still think Elvis is alive
49. And that JFK was only a movie. 
      50.  Because they had a president who was a second-rate actor. 
      51.  who didn't believe in evolution.
      52.  Because their vice-president couldn't spell "potato". 
      53.  And now they call their President "Bill".
      54.  Because they think they have freedom of expression. 
      55.  But buy newspapers only for the coupons.
      56.  Because their greatest entertainment is going to the Mall. 
      57.  or watching the TV bidimensional version of life.
      58.  Because if it's not on TV it doesn't exist. 
      59.  Because nobody talks about Grenada.
      60.  Because they buy everything on credit.
      61.  Because even though they live immersed in a capitalist and 
     consumist society, they don't know who Marx was.
      62.  or the only Marx they know is Groucho.
      63.  Because one of the most important and transcendental          
     decisions in their lives are Coke or Pepsi, McDonalds or      Burger 
     King, Reebok or Nike, Schwarzenegger or Stallone.
      64.  and they can't decide even that.
      65.  Because the only word they know in Spanish is "burrito"... and 
     they can't pronounce it.
      66.  Because as much as we explain "La Bamba" is not Mexico's        
     national anthem, they'll never believe us.
      67.  Because they're "Proud to be an American".
      68.  Because they think English is the universal language ...but 
     they     
     don't understand British English.
      69.  Because Las Vegas is their idea of glamour. 
      70.  Because they can't live without their dog.
      71.  And take "doggie bags" but eat what's inside themselves.
      72.  Because they can spend on a bad movie what could feed millions. 
      73.  and pay to see it.
      74.  Because they fight for "democracy" only where there's oil. 
      75.  Because of "new wave music".
      76.  And Michael Jackson.
      77.  And Prince.
      78.  Because anybody can be a star and an actor and football player 
     at the same time.
      79.  ...and can kill his wife and hire the best lawyers and wait for 
     months for a favorable jury to appear.
      80.  Because of the black slaves... that still exist. 
      81.  Because they called black colored.
      82.  And call latinos hispanic.
      83.  Because there a mother can kill her children and convince 
     millions that a black man kidnapped them.
      84.  Because of Anita Hill.
      85.  Because of Rodney King.
      86.  And Pocahontas and The Lion King.
      87.  Because winning is all that matters. 
      88.  Because of the riots.
      89.  Because they give guns to children so they will kill each 
     other.
      90.  Because of WASP supremacy. 
      91.  Because of skinheads.
      92.  And the Ku-Klux-Klan.
      93.  Because their national anthem touches their hearts.
      94.  Because in the land of the free native americans are the least 
     free of all.
      95.  Because they killed the majority of them. 
      96.  Because they put the rest in reservations. 
      97.  But Dances with Wolves got many Oscars.
      98.  And "Oscar" is a registered trademark. 
      99.  Because of Napalm.                                             
      100. Because the melting pot never melted anything. 
      101. Because everyone is a minority.
      102. Because of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. 
      103. Because of the CIA.
      104. And the FBI.
      105. And all cover operations.
      106. Because they're addicted to Prozac. 
      107. ...among other things.
      108. (like bubble gum).
      109. Because of talk shows.
      110. Because of serial killers.
      111. Because they can sue anyone for anything. 
      112. Because of the National Rifle Association. 
      113. Because of the embargo to Cuba.
      114. Because of the Panama Canal.
      115. Because they get mixed up between Spain and Mexico. 
      116. Because only they play in their world series.
      117. Because they don't know soccer. 
      118. but host a world cup.
      119. Because of their proms and homecoming queens. 
      120. Because of their corsages and limos.
      121. Because the Statue of Liberty looks towards Europe.
      122. Because not all "poor and huddled masses" are welcome. 
      123. Because they have no history... except the pilgrims?. 
      124. Because of the infomercials they export.
      125. Because they eat TV dinners.
      126. Because of what they did to the pizza.
      127. Because they think the microwave is the greatest invention on 
     earth.
      128. Because if they go abroad (even if it's to Finland) they dress  
      in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt.
      129. and they go in a tour and they put on a sticker that says "Hi,  
     my name is...".
      130. And they use their nickname.
      131. Because they mention hell and Montezuma's revenge every time    
     they get diarrhea.
      132. Because they don't even know who Moctezuma was.
      133. Because they're still wondering who framed Roger Rabbit. 
      134. But trust the sequel will enlighten them.
      135. Because they don't get tired of second and third parts.
      136. Because they think "Friday the Thirteenth" is a series of 13 
     movies and have to see them all.
      137. Because they enjoy them. 
      138. and later rent them.
      139. Because they admire Jim Carrey.
      140. And Beavis and Butthead are role models.
      141. Because Stephen King is literature to them. 
      142. Because their roommates are their family.
      143. Because they have no mother. 
      144. Or grandmother.
      145. Because they believe so much in God, that even their dollars    
     say it.
      146. Because of Jimmy Swaggart and Bill Bake and religious TV. 
      147. Because they go home only for Thanksgiving.
      148. Because they think every teenager should be like Brandon and 
     Brenda.
      149. Because of the Helms-Burton.
      150. Because despite all of this, they are still able to control us.
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