Well, things didn't go well with the girlfriend. When we started talking about my coming to visit, she started to waver. Then she brings up the "I want my freedom" type thing. I truly felt like I was going to vomit. This has only been a two or three month love affair, and most of that time has been spent apart. Aside from a few travels together, Yai and I have never really been with each other much. So I was just fooling myself about the whole relationship, right?

I must say I was a little cautious at first. I thought she was just a little lonely in her new life back in Japan. I knew that I was lonely. She convinced me that it was more though. "You are so different than the other guys." She made me think that she really wanted to make something of it all, despite the fact that our future paths showed no signs of meeting soon.

So I started making plans to build the relationship more. Instead of a trip to Tokyo in June, I would go in December for a week. I didn't think that another vacation together would really be good, but perhaps we could learn more about everyday life with each other. Anyway, that's where I was when she told me that it was over. Just when I started to build things up... this seems familiar somehow.

Anyway, enough about that. We had a little party at work this week. Anything to keep my mind off things. I still hadn't told people at work about the break-up, so I could pretend to be happy. Only the party was kinda lifeless. The company paid for a bunch of us to go out to this video game center for adults. I guess we have all become pretty good friends over the weeks of working together, but the party together seemed kinda lame. A little forced and awkward somehow.

Okay, two paragraphs that end in "somehow." I am really wandering here. "I am a living joke" says Grandpa on the Simpsons. The local joke with the roommates lately is how I don't have a life. Evidently this translates into the seem thing in Polish, so we get a kick out of it. Sometimes I wonder if I really need a life, though. Not every day can be a party, eh? I don't really mind staying home on a Saturday. People tell me that it is not good, so I feel that it is lame. Really, I don't mind sometimes. Anyway, I am just digging a hole here. Back to work tomorrow...